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Sep 19th 2020!⃝A lot of people think that this is about anxiety or bpd, I personally think it's about something else.
I myself have had anxieties make my life worse but I've also had other experiences as well that I feel are more accurate to this. I think this is about toxic and abusive relationships. I feel like the "I'm afraid somebody else might end up being me" isn't so much a fear of replacement, but a fear that someone else might make the same decision that they made. To trust someone who shouldn't be trusted.
I always thought of my brief friendship with someone who was quite predatory when I think of this song. The lying is how you notice all the love bombing and manipulative tactics during the honeymoon stage start to wear thin, you wonder if they actually care. You know what they're thinking not because you are guessing it, but because they told you during the explosion.
They make you feel like the bad guy.
"Keep on dreaming, don't stop giving, fight those demons
Sell your soul, not your whole self
If they see you when you're sleeping, make them leave it
And I can't even see if it's all there anymore so"
You wonder if you're right or wrong to have this resentment, but you can't help it.
"You're too mean, I don't like you, fuck you anyway
You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs
It hurts but I won't fight you
You suck anyway
You make me wanna die, right when I"
You know that it hurts, but you're desperate to have someone because they've isolated you from everyone. You harbor all this resentment and it makes you too tired to find a way out of the cycle, so you just try to push through it.
Eventually, something breaks, and you finnally find your way out.
"Being me can only mean
Feeling scared to breathe
If you leave me then I'll be afraid of everything
That makes me anxious, gives me patience, calms me down
Lets me face this, let me sleep, and when I wake up
Let me breathe"
It's scary at first, they've made you feel dependent on them, but you're not. You realize that they were the reason you couldn't stand on your own, not that they were the one who would hold you up. You struggle with your feelings for some time, and eventually you can live your life without them controlling it.
